Sheila Wray Gregoire never meant to be a writer. She sold a joke to Reader's Digest in 1997 for $200 and she caught the bug. She's now a syndicated columnist, an international speaker, and the author of five books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex (Zondervan, 2012).
Sheila speaks all over North America at women's retreats and outreaches, and together with her husband, Keith, she speaks at FamilyLife marriage conferences. She has a passion for family, and God has been moving her more and more into marriage ministry.
At Write! Canada, Sheila will be speaking at the Thursday keynote session and teaching a workshop on marketing a nonfiction book.
At sheilawraygregoire.com, you use the tagline ?No pretensions. Just real life, and real solutions.? What are some of the joys?and some of the challenges?of seeking to be authentic and dealing with real life issues?
The joy is I can use my blog as therapy. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I do try to share some of my struggles and the things that I?m pondering on my blog. I find I think more clearly when I write. It?s a great process for me to work through different issues and spiritual questions. And I do find that people, on the whole, appreciate it and relate to me more. When they can see that I don?t hold myself up to be a ?perfect Christian,? they?re more likely to take the advice that I do give.
The negative, though, isn?t always so fun. There is a tendency in Christian circles to attempt to pigeonhole people, demanding that they fit into very narrow limits. And so when I tell what I think about controversial issues, or when I admit that sometimes I lose my temper, I do get some criticism. And sometimes I find the comments, especially on my blog, rather draining.
Speaking of ?real life issues,? you wrote The Good Girl?s Guide to Great Sex. This is a topic that is often skirted in Christian circles. How has your book been received?
It?s been really well received. I?ve been thrilled. I?m averaging a 5-star rating on Amazon, with 53 reviews so far, so that?s really encouraging. And the overwhelming consensus is that I ?tell it like it is? and talk just like a big sister.
What doors has it opened for you? Has it closed any that you are aware of?
As for what doors it?s opened, I?ll be starting several speaking tours next year around both the United States and Canada, focusing on marriage and sex. That?s exciting. I?ve mostly spoken to general church women?s groups up until now, so it?s fun to be doing something totally new.
As for closing doors, I wouldn?t say it?s lost me engagements, but one thing I was surprised and saddened by was how much Christian media seems to shy away from it. While the response from people in general has been wonderful, it?s been much harder to get TV and radio interviews for this book than for anything else I?ve ever done, largely because Christian media has said that they can?t tackle something that controversial. I find that rather sad because marriages are really hurting, even in the church, and we need to get good information out there if we?re going to help marriages thrive.
You got your start in writing when a joke you submitted was published in Reader?s Digest. Does humour mark most of your writing?
It certainly marks my speaking. In writing, I find it a little harder to be funny. I?m funny quite frequently in my columns (I write a syndicated family column every week), but it comes easier to me when I?m speaking. The fun thing about writing The Good Girl?s Guide to Great Sex was that I?ve been speaking on the topic for several years at FamilyLife marriage conferences, and so I was able to take the funniest parts of that talk and put it in the book. And sex really is quite a humorous thing. So this book is definitely my funniest.
How would you suggest writers remain true to themselves even when writing about life?s tough issues?
Just don?t be afraid of what people think. Yes, if you admit that you?re struggling, that you have doubts, and that you get discouraged, people may judge you. But they?ll be a minority. Far more will appreciate your honesty, and when we admit we aren?t perfect, we give people permission to admit that about themselves, too.
I don?t believe the Christian community is as judgmental as it was several decades ago, but I do think writers and speakers still often steer clear of controversy because we want to maintain our audience. I?d advise more just being honest about what you?re going through, and don?t try to live up to what you think everybody else experiences. The only good writing is authentic writing.
The title of your blog, ??to Love, Honor and Vacuum,? suggests you may have a traditional view of the wife?s role in marriage. How do you balance this with your speaking and writing careers? How would you suggest others find that balance?
I wouldn?t say the blog is traditional. The subtitle of my book is ?When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother,? and that?s what the blog really is about: How do you find fulfilling relationships when your life has become an endless to-do list?
The quest itself is an ongoing one for me. My children are now teens, so they don?t need my constant attention as they did when they were younger, which frees up my time to do more. But I find the demands of social media and marketing never end, and they?re constantly encroaching on what I want to be family time. It really is a constant struggle for me, and I don?t think I?ve found the solution.
Read Part 2 of oour interview with Sheila tomorrow.
sheilawraygregoire.com
tolovehonorandvacuum.com
facebook.com/sheila.gregoire.books
Sheila was interviewed by PR Team co-lead Stephanie Nickel.
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